You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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