Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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