He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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