I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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