Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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