you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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