Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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