just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
