Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
