I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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