i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
