Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have aggressive nipples.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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