Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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