they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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