He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
