Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The Olympian is in my bed
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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