I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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