btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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