I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
