that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
