This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
