Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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