What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
and you fell through a lawn chair
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
