He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
