Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
