A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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