Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
