We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Boobs are out for the taking
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
