so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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