He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
