I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
