hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
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All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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