FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wish I only lived at night.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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