Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
A bitchslap is in order.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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