I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
