they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
