At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
