I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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