I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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