This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
