I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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