I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize