Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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