Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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