There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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