Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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