"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize