Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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