There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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