so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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