In the future we'll all be gay
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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