dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
