just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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