I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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