I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
