so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The beer is more important than you right now.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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