with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
