I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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