In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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