i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
The air taste purple.
Randomize
