dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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