Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.