Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She said her name was "party"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem