How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting